5-26-07 old stuff

5-26-07 I did have a good day. Had ups and downs. We are both tired and trying not to snap at each other. i have a ahrder time at that i know. I will try harder. Everything seemed fine till you stopped talking and turned around. I looked over and saw you were talking to rose. and once again i went cole. And of course im not supposed to be upset so i leave and come upstairs and your usual argument is not there and im not supposed to be upset. guess what im not upset. im fucking scred. i told you not even a week ago you weremissing her. you have been talking about her alot letely then i find you talking to her. ya i feel like second rate shit right now. im just someone to till the time till you get her back doesnt help that im fatter and older than her doesnt help that i am drained of blood and energy right now. doesnt help that i have no more of my meds, doesnt help that your in pain and i am partyly to blaim, meaning the sunburn. Sara is trying to help i dont want to lose you, i love you. your not always easy to be with but you make up for it. and i know im horrible to with. I hope this isnt the beginning of the end i assume now that i will never feel secure with you.