Jan. 2nd, 2008

daily crap
mood: crazy
my stomach felt like crap all the way till last night. my headache went away about 10 monday night. i spent up till 11:30 monday night surfing japanese stuff. then i went and picked him up near his friedns house. these friends i like. Matt and PJ. martin got in the car at 11:59 so i got my new years kiss hahaha so it was good. And yesterday i spent rearranging my living room for the workers to work on the wall today. OOoo Jr got so much shit last night. he was late getting home from being out all day skating. Its one thing to be late for me...totally another to be late when we need to go to mom and dads house cause my dad is anal about lateness. So he got it from me and from my dad. Marlia lost her DS and her phone priviledges until her room gets clean. And each day she will lose something else until its clean. I told my mom about this and she told me i could take her new jacket she got form them. Her new jacket is Zelda. My brain is in super fast gear this morning so bear with me for a while hahaha.
Posted at 08:11 am | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
stuff
groups: Inner demons
my stomach felt like crap all the way till last night. my headache went away about 10 monday night. i spent up till 11:30 monday night surfing japanese stuff. i had fun, he was gone to his friends house so i didnt get interuppted every 5 minutes hehehe. then i went and picked him up near his friedns house. these friends i like. Matt and PJ. Honestly i think if something happens between me and martin i will talk to PJ more heheheh i like him. Anyway martin got in the car at 11:59 so i got my new years kiss hahaha so it was good. And yesterday i spent rearranging my living room for the workers to work on the wall today. OOoo Jr got so much shit last night. he was late getting home from being out all day skating. Its one thing to be late for me...totally another to be late when we need to go to mom and dads house cause my dad is anal about lateness. So he got it from me and from my dad. Marlia lost her DS and her phone priviledges until her room gets clean. And each day she will lose something else until its clean. I told my mom about this and she told me i could take her new jacket she got form them. Her new jacket is Zelda. My brain is in super fast gear this morning so bear with me for a while hahaha.
Posted at 08:02 am | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
more from the anger journal
groups: Inner demons
No date, sometime in 07. I swear my heart needs to be killed off. So i can stop the fucking crying. I truly dont think i can take naother blast like that. More parties, less us i suppose i was ok with things before. now look at me. Im an idiot. whose perception chanfed and i cant deal with it. im too fucking attacherd this is all fucked up now. i really tried hard not to mention all this but when you said you were gonna work at her place (i think it was willow)I went frozen again. i know i wasnt being fair knowing all this and not saying anything but i just would have continued the same pattern of l9ooking and finding and hating myself . i hate myself enough, i dont need more reason. Even if you wanted to which im sure you dont . to prove this is nothing and try to reassure me i dont know if it would help. i take that back, i am gullible. it would work. but knowing you wont hurts worse. you told me once to treat this like it is and not like it is not. i dont know any other way of treating things. It boils down to what do i want or can dela with and the constant feeling of inferiority, the constant feeling if stupidity, the constat knowing your looking for something better. I need a vacation form the stress. i feel like im losing it. i hope i have puked enough out and i hope you dont say somthing mean to hurt me again.