Nov. 24th, 2006

oldest stuff 6
A storm is brewing
the clouds gather round
my earth mother is trying to say something
but i cant hear
its the voices in my head
i fear
understanding her is hard at times
i try to be still and listen
but she knows when i am
unable to
she whispers to me from the trees
but the storm is so fierce
that all i hear is
my own scream

The mind
without it we could not hope
with it we dare not to
without it we could not create
with it we create imagined failures
without it we could not love
with it we envision heartache
without it we can not live
with it
we are afraid to

Small as a tear drop
holding infinity in its grasp
bright as the sun
as dazzling as a star
smiles trailing thoughts
a warm soft glowing
expanding awareness
a blossoming of the heart


Thoughts set a sail
trailing wisps of a wail
wishes that have no end
whispers in a howling wind
Posted at 10:09 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
oldest stuff 5
Laying by a cool summer stream
thinking of a wild and crazy thing
to take flight on a eagles wing
to see the world as it should be seen
float low in a valley
and soar high across the sea
eat a fish in the river
and perch atop the tallest tree
to actually be free from everything
would be a wild and crazy thing.

Twisted thoughts
all a tangle
my life I
want to strangle
all things i
see at a crazy angle

A powerful entity
capable of whispering
capable of carassing
capable of evoking
a strong emotion among
those who believe they
can see the wind
Posted at 10:00 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
oldest stuff 4
As silence replaces laughter
and darkness takes over light
time has turned lifes tables
and i must give in without a fight


I sit alone in a darkened room
all my thoughts
a lonely tomb
quiet misty air
a long and winding stair
a grave you will find
an empty casket inside my mind


Of splendid sunsets and moonlit nites
i loved them all
a nature lover deep in the heart
i only but started to learn a different love
of a different kind
one body one mind one soul
to him he knows
to him i owe
all my moonlit nights
Posted at 09:53 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
oldest stuff 3
As the sun goes behind the clouds
my mind fills with sorrows, dreads, and doubts
I only have one wish today
that these thoughts would just scatter away


As darkness drew over me, my conscious thoughts all began to scatter. I felt as though my presence was fading into nothingness, falling into oblivion. Sparks of heated energy arose from part of the gloom. I floated towards it, but only to dissolve. I melted somewhere bright. The colorful hues of light hurt me, so i shrank to a deeper pit of evil. Lurking everywhere were vile serpent like mirages, ready to devour my very being. I escaped through the eye of a snake.



A small dark room
not a window
not a pillow
my only thought is doom

stupid illusions
lost by the light
every goddamn night
stuck with each decision

This will be my demise
and to my surprise
how could i have ever
thought otherwise
Posted at 09:48 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
the oldest stuff part 2
And life has fired and death not shaded
all time's uncounted bliss
when the height of the world has flamed and faded
can our love endure this.

wisps of clouds move away
illuminated by a hazy moon
tendrils of wind
caress a forest of
lush green foliage
sparrows sweetly sing
to nestling fawns
warm breezes produce
songs from the trees
moonglow dances off
cascading water
sparking stars fill
a velvet sky
All on a dusky summer eve

As she entered the knife into his body
it seared right down to his soul
for the devil hath made his play
and only god could hear his call
Posted at 09:41 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
The oldest stuff
Sleepless nights over
thoughtless words about
relentless things

Ninja night
black against black
whisper of feet
sudden movement
glint of blade
flash of red
gasp of death
whisper of feet
black against black

Silvery eagle soaring on a ray
seeks a fish glinting this way
waiting for a good time of the day
to seek and destroy his eternal prey

I saw you there
I saw you
felt you
reading my mind
as you looked into my eyes
I saw you standing there
looking into my heart
thru my eyes
Posted at 09:34 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
An angry day long ago
this was about 4 or 5 years ago.
I am so angry that i have to write or scream. Sorry if i am such an inconvenience to your life, but unfortunately this is my life and all the crappy things in it. Put yourself in my shoes, you think this is fun for me. I would think someone who loves me would like to help me somehow instead of acting like its a burden to you. I take care of it myself and all i do is talk to you about it and if i cant then basically i cant share that part of my life, Then why would i think you want to share any other part. And now i cant even share my anger cause you will just break things. I just wished sometimes that you liked my kids. It would help me like them more. Wonder if you enjoyed it when your mom's boyfriends didnt like you. Sometimes i wonder if our relationship would be better if you moved out, but then you would avoid the kids altogether and it would be half of me not a whole.
Posted at 09:26 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Edit Entry | Edit Tags | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Track This
old stuff
sometime in 95



entomb
enslave
despair of the day
discouraging thought
fleeting images of what should
aught
swirling screams and suffering visions
of what should be
living in fear of disastrous events
comparing my self in riddles of nonsense
lying in dreams for fear i awake
sipping of things i know are deceased
i feel the ride about to start
the descend into nowhere
these thoughts in my mind